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Marcus's Friends and Family Update #6
Welcome to Friends and Family Update #6!
đź“ťTODO
- Special shoutout to Stefi for wardrobe makeover + rep + photo
- Write about community and the boat metaphor
- SF
- Madeira
- Vietnam
- UQIES international trip
- Shared goal + quality time + proximity = friendship
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1w4zC2UIqw
- Add video of Cave Diving with Connor and Loic
🤝Morality as Connection
Connection as good, and evil as its absence. The more connected we are—to others, to community, to something larger than ourselves—the less capacity we have for evil. The more singular and isolated we become, the more evil festers. Morality isn't a rulebook; it's a measure of how deeply we are woven into the lives of others.
đź’ŚWhy I Make These Updates
I wanted to reiterate why I make these updates: Depth and Quality of relationships. While I may be many miles away, separated by time and seas, I hope we are still connected through these emails.
The Penrose Triangle — an "impossible" shape
đź§Frameworks for Living
These are the mental models and frameworks I use to navigate life decisions:
🎓Core Lessons I've Learned
There are only 3 things worth chasing:
- Relationships
- Enlightenment
- Money
Relationships are the real fruit of life. They're what makes everything else worthwhile—the people you share experiences with, the bonds that give meaning to your days.
Enlightenment is the state of mind that enables good relationships. Without clarity, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence, you can't show up fully for the people who matter.
Money enables the infrastructure to cultivate good relationships. It gives you time (not being tied to a soul-crushing job), location independence (being where your people are), and financial freedom (removing the stress that destroys connections).
Everything else is either in service of these three or doesn't matter.
Your health and your relationships are the only real things you have in life.
It's not possible to own anything, but it is possible to partake in an interdependent relationship.
One term that I learned in 2023 was unconditional positive regard from Adam Lane Smith. It basically means assuming positive intent to the nth degree at all times. Asking why someone did something rather than blaming them for doing the thing.
đź’ Quotes
"Diversification may preserve wealth, but concentration builds wealth."
"From a spiritual point of view it becomes clear that we never really own anything, not even our bodies. There comes a time when we need to let go of everything."
There's a thread you follow. It goes among
things that change. But it doesn't change.
People wonder about what you are pursuing.
You have to explain about the thread.
But it is hard for others to see.
While you hold it you can't get lost.
Tragedies happen; people get hurt
or die; and you suffer and get old.
Nothing you do can stop time's unfolding.
You don't ever let go of the thread.
đź’ˇThings I Believe
- As human beings it is our right (maybe our moral duty) to reshape the universe to our preferences
- Technology, which is really knowledge, enables this
- You should probably work on raising the ceiling, not the floor
- Enthusiasm matters!
- It's much easier to work on things that are exciting to you
- It might be easier to do big things than small things for this reason
- Energy is a necessary input for progress
- It's important to do things fast
- You learn more per unit time because you make contact with reality more frequently
- Going fast makes you focus on what's important; there's no time for bullshit
- "Slow is fake"
- A week is 2% of the year
- Time is the denominator
- The efficient market hypothesis is a lie
- At best it is a very lossy heuristic
- The best things in life occur where EMH is wrong
- In many cases it's more accurate to model the world as 500 people than 8 billion
- "Most people are other people"
- We know less than we think
- The replication crisis is not an aberration
- Many of the things we believe are wrong
- We are often not even asking the right questions
- The cultural prohibition on micromanagement is harmful
- Great individuals should be fully empowered to exercise their judgment
- The goal is not to avoid mistakes; the goal is to achieve uncorrelated levels of excellence in some dimension
- The downsides are worth it
- Smaller teams are better
- Faster decisions, fewer meetings, more fun
- No need to chop up work for political reasons
- No room for mediocre people (can pay more, too!)
- Large-scale engineering projects are more soluble in IQ than they appear
- Many tech companies are 2-10x overstaffed
- Where do you get your dopamine?
- The answer is predictive of your behavior
- Better to get your dopamine from improving your ideas than from having them validated
- It's ok to get yours from "making things happen"
- You can do more than you think
- We are tied down by invisible orthodoxy
- The laws of physics are the only limit
🤿Cave Diving in Southeast Queensland
One of the most surreal experiences of recent memory — cave diving in a secret, uncharted cave somewhere in Southeast Queensland with Connor and Loic. No maps, no crowds, just the three of us descending into something most people don't know exists. There's something humbling about moving through a space that has never been named, navigating by feel and trust in your teammates. The kind of adventure that reminds you the world still has hidden corners left to find.
đź“· Photo coming soon
🙏Religious North Stars
These spiritual frameworks guide how I try to live:
The Sermon on the Mount: Jesus's core teachings on compassion, humility, and love. "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." The emphasis on inner transformation over external righteousness resonates deeply—it's not about following rules, but about becoming the kind of person who naturally does good.
"If I had to face only the Sermon on the Mount, and my own interpretation of it, I should not hesitate to say, 'Oh yes, I am a Christian.' But I can tell you that, in my humble opinion, much of what passes as Christianity is a negation of the Sermon on the Mount."
The Eight Precepts: Buddhist ethical guidelines that extend the five basic precepts with additional practices around eating, entertainment, and comfort. They create a framework for living with mindfulness and restraint, particularly during intensive meditation retreats.
Ashtanga Yoga (Yama and Niyama): The ethical and personal observances that form the foundation of yoga practice. The Yamas (restraints) include non-violence, truthfulness, and non-attachment. The Niyamas (observances) include purity, contentment, and self-study. Together they provide a comprehensive system for ethical living and self-development.
The Perennial Philosophy by Aldous Huxley — a synthesis of the mystical traditions across the world's great religions, arguing they all point to the same fundamental truths about the nature of reality and the divine.
These aren't rigid rules—they're guiding principles. Different frameworks emphasize different aspects of the good life, and I find value in all of them.
đź“šFavourite Media
Essential Reading (All-Time Favourites)
🏋️Health Updates
🎯Hobbies
- Magic the Gathering - Still playing and enjoying the strategy
- Dungeons & Dragons - Current campaigns and memorable moments
- Raves - The music and community I love
- Jiu Jitsu - Training journey continues
- Argentinian Tango - Learning the craft
"The dance is not where we lose ourselves, but where we find ourselves."
🌗Tango & BJJ: Two Sides of the Same Coin
The more I train both Argentinian Tango and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, the more I see them as masculine and feminine expressions of the same underlying ideas.
Both are conversations between two bodies. In BJJ, you're reading your partner's weight, pressure, and intention—then responding. In tango, it's exactly the same: you listen through the embrace, feel where your partner's weight is, and move together. The vocabulary is different but the grammar is identical.
BJJ is the masculine expression—the conversation happens through conflict. You assert, resist, overcome. The connection is forged through opposition. You learn about yourself by discovering what you do when someone is trying to break you.
Tango is the feminine expression—the conversation happens through surrender. You invite, yield, follow. The connection is forged through vulnerability. You learn about yourself by discovering what you do when someone trusts you completely.
But the deeper lesson is the same in both: you cannot force connection. The best rolls and the best dances happen when you stop muscling through and start listening. When you let go of your plan and respond to what's actually happening. Sensitivity beats strength. Presence beats technique.
Both demand that you show up fully—no hiding behind words or screens. Just two people, in a shared space, communicating through movement. One through combat, one through beauty. Both through honesty.
🎥Favourite Videos
🎬 Movies
Top Films:
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5
6
7
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9
12
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đź“ş TV Series
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🎮 Games
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🎵 Favourite Albums
🎶 Favourite Songs
đź“ť Favourite Articles
- The roadmap to Product/Market Fit (PMF)… maybe — Jason Cohen
- Meditation: Why Bother? — Bhante Gunaratana
- Vanta's Path to Product-Market Fit — Christina Cacioppo
- Nonduality – Defining the Undefinable — Michael W. Taft
Affording a House in Samford Valley
Samford Valley is where I want to build my life. It's a semi-rural suburb 23km northwest of Brisbane CBD—tranquil, picturesque, with acreage properties perfect for the lifestyle I'm working towards.
The reality: median house prices sit around $1.8M. Properties here are primarily owner-occupied (94.5%), mostly couples with families who value space, nature, and community. It's known for beautiful acreage properties popular with families and horse enthusiasts.
This is the goal. Not a mansion—a home with land where I can build the life I envision. A place for family, for friends, for building something meaningful. But at my current trajectory, this stays a dream. That's why I'm making the change.
"If I'm betting on myself, I would easily double down."
đź”®Looking Ahead
- San Francisco: Flying to SF. Exploring opportunities and reconnecting with the startup ecosystem there.
- Machu Picchu (Late May-June): Family trip to Peru - been wanting to do this for years!
- The rest of the year is intentionally flexible: Might spend time in SF, potentially pass through Southeast Asia, maybe base myself in Sydney for a bit. Keeping options open to see where the opportunities and energy take me.
- Walk and Talk - Northern Thailand (End of Year): I'm putting together a group of 10 people to do a walk and talk in northern Thailand at the end of the year. The concept is simple: walk together, talk deeply, connect meaningfully. Shoutout to Derek Sivers for the idea.
Walk and Talk Resources
Craig Mod on Walking - Beautiful essay on the art of walking and conversation
How to Walk and Talk (PDF) - Kevin Kelly's guide to organizing walk and talks
Dr K
Meditation module from HealthyGamer coaching — great resource for building a meditation practice.
Watch on YouTube
Dr K · HealthyGamer
Watch on YouTube
Dr K · HealthyGamer
Michael Taft
Nondual Awareness Meditation
Michael Taft · YouTube
Watch on YouTube
Michael Taft · YouTube
Watch on YouTube
Michael Taft · YouTube
In Hinduism there is a concept called Āśrama — life stages. Turning 25 means I'm transitioning from Brahmacharya (student life — learning, self-discipline, acquiring knowledge) to Grihastha (householder — getting married, building a career, raising a family).
That's all for now! Looking forward to sharing more adventures in the next update.
— Marcus
— Marcus